When Life Gives You Lemons, You Put Them in Scotch!

Vintage blogging as it's finest! I wrote this a month or two ago and posted it to my Facebook account. It's still relevant, so enjoy...


So here I am...this is me, who I am. I am a people person who does NOT like people. People are unreliable. They have flaws...which is fine, because so do I, but the fact of the matter is that people depend on you do to certain things. They look to you when you're talented and when you have a lot going for you and when you seem friendly and giving, that is when you get taken advantage of.

I like scotch. Scotch has a nutty velvety texture that never changes, it only evolves. It has classes of flavors and nuances of texture. Add a lemon and it's the perfect drink - neat or on the rocks. People douse their fears, inhibitions, and problems in a glass of scotch...or whatever their preferred liver ruining beverage is. Scotch, unlike people, is reliable. You know exactly what to expect when you sip it.

Okok. So now that the metaphorical phrasing is over and out the way, let's talk about my 'lemons'. The problem that I have with people is that they have expectations of me because I care. And I know that ideally, I can only allow what I allow. But let's be real. When you are a giving person, who wants to make sure that the people you care about are ok, people tend to take that for granted. But then, when you assess and you realize that there's a whole "kindness for weakness" thing happening, and you take two steps back, then all of a sudden, everyone comes running. It's a wonder I'm not manic.

It's part of the reason that I write to vent off. The people that know me really well know that I hate, hate, HATE getting emotional about shit because I absolutely hate feeling vulnerable. I don't really know anyone that likes feeling vulnerable, but I particularly don't like it. And those that are like, "oh, but you're so social! you seem like such a people person!" don't really know me or get it. I'm simple yet complex. It's a hard concept to explain.

Every time I find myself in the midst of lemons, I throw them into my scotch. I don't like making lemonade. Lemonade is sweet and tends to blur the realities of the situation. If I put the lemons into scotch, the true flavor is there, unfettered, ready for me to handle. I like being able to do things hands on and handle whatever the situation is. Hence, lemons in my scotch.

There's so much I want to say that I haven't quite figured out how to put into words. But right now, my biggest obstacle is working on this vulnerable shit I got going on. I don't like it, and it has to go. I have other things to be worried about. Vulnerable? Taken advantage of? Not going to happen.

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