“You are a handsome…good…smart and good and…you’re perfect…but um…I’m busy…holding myself together with…tape and glue…and a part of me wishes that you hadn’t played golf because maybe you’d be where I am…but you’re too much for me right now…because I’m busy..with the tape…and the glue…”
- "Miranda Bailey", Grey's Anatomy - Episode: Tape and Glue
I’m not a TV buff.
Not by any means.
In fact, I rarely watch it.
Oh, sure, as a chef, I have the Food Network on fairly often, and I listen to some of my favorite shows on there, but I don’t really watch it. The television in my house is usually off, and if it’s on, then it’s simply background noise . On Thursdays at 9 pm, though…my television is on. It’s on and Grey’s Anatomy is on. And it doesn’t matter what work I’m doing, who I’m talking to, whether I’m baking bread or not (wink), at 9 pm, I am watching Grey’s Anatomy and ignoring all else.
When I saw this episode, the one where Chandra Wilson’s character, Miranda, is dealing with the aftermath of the mass murder shooting at Seattle Grace, and I heard her say those lines…my heart stopped.
I went looking for Shondra Rhimes.
Who the hell was she to be taking my life without notice and putting it on the TV screen?
Ok. Obviously she didn’t take inspiration from my life when she had her writers write the scene for that quite emotional TV moment. But the ‘tape and glue’ bit? Believe you me…that is me in a nutshell. With so much going on and with most, if not all, of my friends individually going through their own isht, I often feel quite alone with me, my thoughts and I. I can visibly see the tape on my arm…the glue holding the pieces of me together…sort of like a going through the motions. And it’s not to say that I have no one to talk to. That’s not it. It’s just that tattoo on my back that is getting in the way. That pride is something else. It’s the fear of not meeting expectations. The fear of not being strong.
At any rate. Anyone else feeling some of the same?
3 comments:
Yes.
This is a sharing space, so please, feel free if you need to express or vent. =oD
I've recdntly purchased the DVD and when I heard her say those words I was in in tears...I went to my Phobe and googled those lines and hence I found your blog.I'm in a point in my life where nothing makes sense anymore. I'm contantly taping and gluing myself just to make it through the day
Post a Comment