...::hard sigh::...
I don't have any song quotes today, or cheerfully sarcastic remarks with which to start today's blog off with. This is all coming directly from the heart, so if I spell something wrong or fail to make sense at some point, forgive me. I'm writing, not thinking as I go along.
So today I woke up, shit on my mind and on my heart. Everything appears to be going well with my business, you know, meeting the right people, making the right connections, blah blah blah. A good friend of mine told me once, "you can meet all of the people in the blasted world, it don't mek a fuck of difference if it don't translate into dollar signs".
Sorry, I should have warned y'all about today's language, too.
So it is day 2 of me deciding to do this full time, and the only thing I want to do is go back to my job and go back to security. I'm not a big risk taker. Never have been. When I decided to resign and do my business full time, I had stars in front of my eyes. Now I realize that the stars in front of my eyes was reality smacking the shit out of me to try to get me to see that this was not a good idea.
What makes this rougher is that I cannot begin to tell you just how many people have come to me and said to me how proud of me they are. How brave I am. Yeah fucking right. This was stupid. And it's a lot of pressure...I can't tell you how many people have told me they look up to me. Why me? Don't look up to me, please. I'm an ordinary woman just trying to make it. And yes, to those who don't seem to believe me when I say this, I do feel insecure and scared and I don't always have it together and I damn sure don't always know what I'm doing and I cry and worry and sulk just like any other human being. I'm not perfect. I don't ever claim to be, either.
Other things annoying me today - what's with the subliminal social media messages, people? Have I not said before how much I hate that shit? Please please please tell me if you have a problem with me or what I do. Cause I for damn sure will tell you if I have a problem with you. Because if you think unfollowing me or deleting me is your answer, think again. You might be surprised to find that I care even less than you think. And no, I'm not talking about someone in particular. I've seen a few people do it lately. It's so lame. The KP of three years ago would probably have sent the offenders an email or a text on some, "yo, WTF?" This KP? Ehh. *shrugs* I just rather you tell me what's on your mind. Stop tweeting/writing/murmuring about it. And I assure you, this is only bothering me right now because I'm annoyed in general.
So I met this really awesome guy and now I like him, which I hate. Mainly because I know how I get when I like someone. I'm a go out on a limb, though, and see where this goes. We'll see. It ain't like other folks are gonna come back and start giving a damn anytime soon. Not to mention that the guy I met is a really nice guy. Maybe a nice guy's what I need, for a change. I'll just go with the flow and see what happens.
My back is killing me for all the wrong reasons...
URGH...I need MONEY...
I'm just tired and annoyed today. I have a lot of work to do and I have plenty to figure out. Lemme stop ranting and rambling and get to figuring out instead.
Thanks forlistening reading.
I don't have any song quotes today, or cheerfully sarcastic remarks with which to start today's blog off with. This is all coming directly from the heart, so if I spell something wrong or fail to make sense at some point, forgive me. I'm writing, not thinking as I go along.
So today I woke up, shit on my mind and on my heart. Everything appears to be going well with my business, you know, meeting the right people, making the right connections, blah blah blah. A good friend of mine told me once, "you can meet all of the people in the blasted world, it don't mek a fuck of difference if it don't translate into dollar signs".
Sorry, I should have warned y'all about today's language, too.
What makes this rougher is that I cannot begin to tell you just how many people have come to me and said to me how proud of me they are. How brave I am. Yeah fucking right. This was stupid. And it's a lot of pressure...I can't tell you how many people have told me they look up to me. Why me? Don't look up to me, please. I'm an ordinary woman just trying to make it. And yes, to those who don't seem to believe me when I say this, I do feel insecure and scared and I don't always have it together and I damn sure don't always know what I'm doing and I cry and worry and sulk just like any other human being. I'm not perfect. I don't ever claim to be, either.
Other things annoying me today - what's with the subliminal social media messages, people? Have I not said before how much I hate that shit? Please please please tell me if you have a problem with me or what I do. Cause I for damn sure will tell you if I have a problem with you. Because if you think unfollowing me or deleting me is your answer, think again. You might be surprised to find that I care even less than you think. And no, I'm not talking about someone in particular. I've seen a few people do it lately. It's so lame. The KP of three years ago would probably have sent the offenders an email or a text on some, "yo, WTF?" This KP? Ehh. *shrugs* I just rather you tell me what's on your mind. Stop tweeting/writing/murmuring about it. And I assure you, this is only bothering me right now because I'm annoyed in general.
So I met this really awesome guy and now I like him, which I hate. Mainly because I know how I get when I like someone. I'm a go out on a limb, though, and see where this goes. We'll see. It ain't like other folks are gonna come back and start giving a damn anytime soon. Not to mention that the guy I met is a really nice guy. Maybe a nice guy's what I need, for a change. I'll just go with the flow and see what happens.
My back is killing me for all the wrong reasons...
URGH...I need MONEY...
I'm just tired and annoyed today. I have a lot of work to do and I have plenty to figure out. Lemme stop ranting and rambling and get to figuring out instead.
Thanks for
