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Monday, September 28, 2009

Priorities versus Options - Which one are you?

I am my own top priority.

There are also a few people in my life who I consider a priority..my daughter is a given, followed by my family and my close friends. These people show up in my phone as "ICE" - "In Case of Emergency". They are the people that, God forbid something happens to me, I would like contacted because they would know what needs to be done.

Some of those ICE's were deleted today.

And it's nothing personal. It is, rather simply, that they are no longer priorities in my life - primarily because they have neglected to make me a priority in their own life. It could be that we have fallen off or our season has ended. It could be that they are in the process of reinventing themselves and I am a reminder of what they either once were or currently are but are hiding from being instead of correcting the problem. It could also very simply be that I am an option to them and not a priority.

I say this all the time: when I care, I care completely. This means that I remember what you say for the most part because what you say matters and is important to me. It means that if I know what you do, I keep my eyes open and my ears to the ground so that when opportunities arise, I can let you know. It means that you are welcome in my home and my heart. There is a very realistic possibility that you know things about me that others would be surprised to know. You have more than likely seen me at my most vulnerable...which is a feat because I don't do vulnerable.

Conversely...when I stop caring, I stop caring completely. It's almost as if you don't exist to me. There are people in my life that two years ago were in the aforementioned category that now don't even exist to me. Believe me, I'm like a faucet - I turn off and on. There was a time when people could take advantage of me because I am a REALLY nice person, despite all my ramblings and rants. That time is no longer. My ride or die bestie told me a few months back that the bitch in me is becoming a lot more evident. I laughed. But she could be right - it's time for me to become more selfish. Earlier today, I needed to talk to someone about a hard decision to make. EVERYONE was unavailable. And, granted, if I truly needed to talk to someone, and I called once or twice, I'd have been able to talk to someone. But I guess I operate differently - I'm always available...so maybe I need to not be so available to everyone.

Just ramblings...

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Dance Fever vs. My Aging Reality

As I write this, I am contemplating filling up the bathtub with warm water and Epsom salts to soak in. And it is the NEXT. DAY.

Next day of what, you might ask? Yesterday, I went to dance class for the first time in over six years. When I was growing up, I was a dance fiend. Everywhere I went, all I did was dance. I danced for about 12 years, from elementary school to the end of high school when my dance school closed, and then 2 years in college. I then taught for two years and eight months, up until two weeks before I was due with my daughter, (no worries, it was safe) so close to 17 years in total.

My daughter is six now. I have not danced since then. I took two classes around when my daughter was 4, over at Broadway Dance Center in the city. It was advanced jazz, and I have to say, I completely held my own. And then, for some reason, I fell off. I don't know why, I just did. So when I decided to enroll my daughter in dance school, I noticed on their schedule that they had dance classes for adults as well. I thought about it...but it wasn't until I saw the recital DVD with the adults doing their contemporary piece that I went to the dance receptionist and said, "so about those adult dance classes..."

Yesterday was my first class. My daughter's classes were earlier in the morning and my class wasn't until later on that afternoon, so her and I killed time by going to the library and getting something to eat. When I went to get dressed for class, I immediately felt welcome and self conscious at the same time: welcome because the other students in the class with me were so openly welcoming and glad that I was there, and self conscious because I was completely out of shape. Sigh.

I saw what the teen contemporary class was doing, and when I looked at the teacher, I realized that I knew her! We had gone to dance school together back in the day...though she was older than me. She was my idol back then, too. That girl could DANCE. So I was glad I had decided to come...and then suddenly, it hit me. I knew what I was in for. She was about to go in. As if to confirm my thoughts, when I came in, she excused herself from the person she was talking to, gave me a big hug, and then said, "Welcome back. Good luck..."

As class started, I felt pretty confident about my ability to keep up with the class in spite of my years not having danced. And for the most part, I did. The thing that got to me so much was that I was used to just watching the move once and then immediately getting it and executing it right the first time. I have a slightly competitive nature and I don't like feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. Once or twice I was ashamed of my across the floor performance. (Across the floor, for my non dancers, is where the teacher shows you specific moves that must be executed across the floor.) There were times that I knew that the move that I was doing was not in the right sequence, or executed, just poorly. My body felt every move, every leap, every jump.

I have never had an issue with how I look - that is, I know that I am a big girl, always have been. Currently, I am bigger than I've ever been, and I still look good...but yesterday was the first day that I genuinely wished I was a size 9 again. I missed that dancer's body I had in high school yesterday. Sure, I never forgot the technique (if you were trained right, you never forgot) and no, I didn't do badly at all for my first time back, but I felt completely out of place and just...wrong.

But I'm going back next week. It's time to bring that body back...and it's time to get my dancer mojo back. I missed it. And I didn't know how much I missed it until I started leaping and jumping again. This time next year, I'm going to be a lean, mean, dancing chef machine.

Lemme just soak in some Epsom salts first, though...*groans*

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Go and Get De Switch From De Back...

If you've ever grown up in a West Indian household, you know that either your mother, your father, or one of the many elders that you grew up with at some point was bound to be the one to beat you when you got out of line. Now, granted, when I say beat, I don't mean abuse (though I will readily admit, in some folks cases, it was rather borderline), but I mean the phrase that every kid growing up in the islands or anywhere with nice foliage dreaded..."go 'long in de back and get de switch..." In America and in more recent times, it was amended to, "go and get de belt..."

Those of us who grew up in this fashion, with a certain level of discipline and respect for people, tend to agree that this level of discipline is severely lacking in modern day society. And, of course, I am not saying that this is limited to Caribbean culture...but most would argue that growing up in a traditional, old school Caribbean household somehow instilled you with the values and discipline you needed to be a productive adult. Or perhaps that's just good parenting.

Some people argue that spanking is ineffectual. I, of course, completely disagree. Spare the rod and spoil the child and all that. It is with all that said that I wished I had a switch this morning. I'm on the bus again this morning, minding my own business, reminiscing and what have you, when this older African woman and two boys get on the bus. One boy manages to find a seat, the other is left to stand. I started to get up to let him sit, but I changed my mind when I saw him snatch his hat back from the woman and then subsequently smack her with it when she tried to take it back. Oh no. You can stand, buddy.

As do the things that I see on a daily basis tend to do, of course it got better and better. This kid...I couldn't even believe it. He said whatever he felt like saying to who I realized later was his grandmother. This kid cursed her out, his little brother out, his mother out when his grandmother called her to get him to calm down, and then, when this woman on the bus called him out for it because this kid's antics were insane and had the entire front of the bus captivated, he cursed HER out, too.

I was floored.

Only on TV have I seen such blatantly disrespectful behavior directed toward an elder, and as I said before, the whole front of the bus was captivated to the point of not being able to speak. All I wanted to do was pick up my hand and back hand him...or go get de switch. Where was the discipline in his life? How, at 10, did he manage to get so unruly and blatantly disgusting? Clearly time out was not the answer for this child. He didn't care what anyone had to say to him.

What do you all think about disciplining children, particularly the ones that completely gone over the deep end?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Did I Miss Something?

The ongoing running joke with my friends and I is that the WEIRDEST, most UNUSUAL things happen to me. Lately, I've been trying to attribute it to the fact that 30 is staring me in the face. My best friend has told me flat out that this is not the case, that I, very simply, attract madness for whatever reason.

Now. I've talked before about the incident with a rodent that will remain nameless. And who could forget seeing Spiderman on 5th Avenue. The things I see and that happen to me sometimes are priceless. Today was no exception.

To start, I wake up every morning religiously hitting the snooze button at least 3 times before I panic about being unemployed in this blasted disaster excuse for an economy and fly out of the bed and directly towards the shower, waking my child in the process to ensure that she is ready. I then time what bus I MUST be on to be considered either early or on time once I get on and onto the subway. Today, I was slightly behind schedule, so I hopped onto a different bus and texted my boss to let her know I was running behind schedule.

So now. I'm sitting quietly on the bus, listening to Jay-Z's Blueprint 3, and the bus begins to get a bit crowded. This 6'4 guy gets on the bus and stands to hold on by me. I pay him no mind. As the bus gets crowded, he starts to shift forward...and all I'm feeling on my shoulders are his family jewels. I'm not kidding. Over and over again. And just when I thought that it could've possibly been accidental because of the crowding on the bus, I looked up and dude WINKED at me. Yes, y'all, I said he WINKED at me. So, of course, I draft an email to my friends about this foolishness. They laugh hysterically. Little did I know that my adventure for the day was not done yet...

Later on, I'm at Penn Station, trying to get my ticket so that I can go home after a long day. I'm at the LIRR machine, getting my railroad ticket home when this guy comes up and whispers something in my ear. So I say, "I'm sorry?" He looks like he might need a dollar or two, not homeless, just broke...so he says it again and I thought he said he needed a couple of dollars! So as I'm preparing to tell him sorry, he says a little louder..."just a couple of hours is all I need with you...I swear I'll turn you out...what's your name?"

...:blank stare:...Are you kidding me...

And it gets better!! An older guy was by the train door where I was sitting, just relaxing and drinking his beer. This younger girl runs up to him from the car after ours and sticks her tongue down his throat! Now they're making out and I'm gagging a little...I don't do PDAs (public displays of affection). But then, soon after this joyous reunion, she bursts into tears! So now he's comforting her...and the lady across from me and I are just sitting there, a bit baffled by it all. As we're preparing to get off at our stop, the girl rushes back to the next car where she came from! The lady sitting across from me(my new LIRR buddy) are completely lost. Suddenly, the gentleman's phone rings and he says, "hey son, what track?" His son answers him...the lady and I turn...the girl that all this stuff is going on with is his son's girlfriend.

So now I ask - is it me? Did I miss something? What is it about me that attracts and witnesses such madness!

P.S. My friend D, of course, couldn't resist posting a blog about my misfortunes on her own blog. You can read her commentary on my misfortunes (still not funny) on her blog, Life in the D Lane.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Being a "Quitter"

I got this from my cousin - she has a friend who is a motivational speaker. These are some of her words of wisdom.


"it's ok to Quit....."

Motivational Speaker - Veraunda Jackson


1. Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness! Respect their position and keep it moving!

2. Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them! And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

3. Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you. Either they believe in you and value you...or they don't!

4. Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!

5. Quit gossiping about other people! Minding our own business should be a full time job!

6. Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter three weeks from now! Talk solutions...and then implement them!

7. Quit eating things you know are not good for you! If you can't quit...eat smaller portions!

8. Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them! If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores! Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!

9. Quit staying in unhealthy relationships! It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself! It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

10. Quit letting family members rope you into the drama! -Start telling them you don't want to hear it! Quit spreading the drama! Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

11. Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN'T WORK! Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

12. Quit the job you hate! Start pursuing your passion. Find the job that fuels your passion BEFORE you quit!

13. Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore! Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

14. Quit listening to the naysayers! Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!

15. Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!

16. Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself! If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!

17. Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!- Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past....you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT ...... and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

When It's Ok to Be an Asshole...

So. I got myself caught up watching TV today. Yes, I watched the VMA's, solely for the Michael Jackson tribute. Job well done on that, MTV. (BET, take notes...lol) Of course, by now, I am sure that you have heard about the Kanye West/Taylor Swift debacle. It happened as I was preparing to turn off the TV (the tribute was over! Whaat?!). So when I saw the whole thing unfold before my eyes, my first thought was, "Nooooooooooooooooo...Kanye, what are you DOING??!??!?!?! You're being more of an asshole than usual!!!!"

Now of course, when you think of asshole, you think of a person who is unscrupulous, callous, out the box with it, arrogant, etc., etc. There's no definition as to what an asshole truly is...or is there? Though the American Heritage Dictionary does not definite 'asshole', it does define 'ass' as "A vain, silly, or stupid person". So now. We know that Kanye's a bit vain and can be a bit silly. He's not exactly stupid, though he apparently is wont to do certain stupid things. But is there anything wrong with being those things? It depends on who you are, I suppose.

And you don't have to agree with me, but here's my spin on it. Take the Real Housewives of Atlanta, for example...or Martin's character on "Martin"...or Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth (remember her?)...or any of the antagonists on any of these 'reality' TV shows...why do we like them? Because they're ASSHOLES...and assholes are entertaining to watch and/or listen to!! Don't front...everyone knows at least one asshole that you just can't help but listen to ramble and or talk bad bout or laugh at. And if you claim you don't know any, chances are, YOU'RE the asshole! LOL...

But seriously (even though I was serious before, lol)...usually, if you speak your mind and you're coarse and/or crass about it, you're labeled an asshole. And there really is nothing wrong with speaking your mind...I do it all the time, and I'm not one to sugarcoat either...in fact, I've been called an ass a time or two myself. However. I am a firm believer in not blatantly disrespecting someone else's personal space. And, of course, there is also a time and a place for these types of mannerisms and behavior. And herein is where the distinction lies: if expressing your opinion, if being an 'ass' hereby causes you to become or be in a person's personal space, ie: taking the mike from someone in midsentence and blurting out your opinion, then dammit, you've crossed the line. LOL. And no, the Kanye incident was not nearly important enough for me to be honing in on it...it just so happens that it is currently the best demonstration of when assholeness goes too far that everyone would be able to reference and understand. So with that said...

Be an ass. Rock out with it. Sometimes, the blatantness of what you are saying is necessary JUST the way you thought it, jacked up and all. Do NOT in your assholeness invade someone else's personal space. That's too much. Trust me, if you catch the wrong one, you're going to have bigger issues than trying to express your opinion. There could be a fight and words and the cops and...it just gets ugly. Trust me. Next thing: if you don't know when and where assholeness is appropriate, then just steer clear of it. Some people have made being an asshole a craft that they know how to properly curtail it when necessary. If this is not you, then just don't. Oh!! And one more thing: everyone's not going to like what you have to say. In fact, I can promise you, most won't. If this bothers you, STOP TRYING TO BE AN ASSHOLE. You're not. Just be nice. You'll get what you want better being yourself. My asses (lol), if you have something worth saying...and you want people to hear you out...my advice is to know your audience and hit 'em in a way where they get it. Otherwise, I promise, you'll just be throwing words into the air.

Everybody got it?? Good. Now, enough about Kanye, there's more important stuff going on...=o)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Your Help Is No Longer Needed...Thanks!

Ok. I love when I hear the following: "After all I'm doing to help you, the least you could do is..."

Stop. Just stop.

Why do I have to feel entitled to do you a favor or comply with something you asked for if you offered me assistance? And yes, this is going to sound utterly selfish, but here's the thing...I NEVER ASKED FOR HELP. Part of the reason that I do not ask for help is that I do not want to then later on feel entitled to do something in return that I am not sure I will be able to do. Another reason is that I hate when people offer their assistance and then try and make you feel bad if you don't do something their way. That's not the way help should work. That's not the kind of help I want.

If you offer me help, I want you to offer me help because you want to help me, not because you are trying to keep tabs on me...or have something to hold over my head. Neither one of these things is going to endear you to me nor make me want to help you in the future. When I help others, I help, not ever expecting anything in return. And if this is not the type of assistance you can provide me with, then don't "offer" your help. It's that simple.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ignorance and the Fear of Knowledge

Ignorance is a POWERFUL drug that when people take it, is more powerful than any crack cocaine.

Ignorance is a powerful narcotic that seeps into the veins of even the most educated.

Ignorance, when used correctly, is addictive and hazardous.

And the dangers of ignorance, much like cocaine or heroin or cigarettes, is well known. Growing up, we saw the catch phrases on the after school specials and non profit commercials: "Reading is fundamental"...."A mind is a terrible thing to waste"....you get my drift. So why are people so comfortable, so complacent with being ignorant? By living in said ignorance?

Take, for example, the current situation with universal health care. Now. I personally have not come to a conclusion regarding whether it's a good idea or not. But many people have...most without actually hearing all of the facts therein. I hear the word 'socialism' being thrown around a lot. Is there a possibility that the policy is rooted in socialistic ideals? Possibly. And let's be clear: I'm not saying EITHER OR. When it comes to politics on this level, I stay mum. But moving on...Do a lot of people not KNOW what socialism actually is? Absolutely. I encourage those people to pick up a book and read it before you use the term. And then, if you still feel the same way, be prepared to have a reason why.

That's another thing that perpetuates ignorance on a more base level: the lack of ability to express an opinion without any type of factual base. Opinions are based on one's knowledge...before you can pass them off as facts, you need to know...the facts! See how that works? And I'm not trying to be an ass here...it just does get me vex when people pass off their opinions as facts but they're not based on any factual information. These people are choosing to remain ignorant.

They say that ignorance is bliss. I say ignorance is sad. The lack of desire to seek the knowledge necessary to formulate certain thoughts and beliefs is still a bit mind boggling. We should stop fearing knowledge.

Any thoughts on ignorance?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Monogamy and OPP

I'm sure everyone knows and remembers Naughty by Nature's song, "OPP". Those of you who hit up Grae events (www.graegram.com, www.graeenterprises.com - shameless plug, lol)have probably heard it at least once recently and bopped out HARD to it (who's down with OPP? EVERYbody!!) But think about this for a second. Most of us aren't down with Other People's Property...or are we?

The interesting thing that I've noticed about relationships in this day and age is the lack of their true existence - or, rather, people's hesitance to get into them for one reason or the other. I won't go into some of the reasons - I've touched on many of them in previous blogs - but I was reading an FB post that a friend of mine wrote regarding monogamy today and it got me to thinking about how realistic (or unrealistic) it may be.

Are we meant to be monogamous? It's an interesting concept. Monogamy is originally defined by Merriam Webster as " archaic : the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime"...and then amended to add a third definition "the condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time". Now. I am sure that the original definition of monogamy very rarely exists, what with the divorce and remarriage rate in this country. As for the second definition, this is the more common reference of what people think of when they think of monogamy.

The remarkable thing about my take on this is that I believe in it and yet I don't. It's not in my nature to be with more than one person at the same time. I physically can't do it. I don't really knock anyone that does - I believe in karma so I don't need to knock it, karma'll talk care of whatever it needs to take care of. At the same time, I don't know if I'm meant to be with one person for the rest of my life. I'm so easily bored...I don't know. I always worry that I will become bored with whoever I'm with eventually and ruin the relationship. But enough about that, that's so not an issue right now...

As for OPP, when are you considered someone else's? I mean, the obvious answer to this is when there's a commitment...but is it really still so cut and dry, with all these different nuances to relationships? Like, for example, in an open relationship, how do you determine when one is violating the mutual terms of the relationship? If you're a swinger, do you actually have the right to be mad if the other party hooks up with someone else, even though you established how the relationship was going to work? When is it actually cheating?

My ramblings for today...

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Punk Club

Some friends of mine and I were having a drink or two and "talkin' a likkle shite" and, of course, when you have two or more girls in the room, and alcohol is involved, the conversation inevitably turns to men and either a. what man of the day is pissing said girl(s) off, b. how men ain't 'shit', or c. who are we crushing on? Now, I am a firm believer in not generalizing: I am not one of those women who run around saying men ain't shit, because they're not, no one woman has met every man, and, if the men you keep encountering ain't shit on a consistent basis, then, well, it's time to examine yourself. You are the common denominator here - not them. With that said, we wound up talking about who we liked vs. who we didn't.

Now. I have a felt covered box here that I will use as my platform to stand on and testify: "I am a proud, card carrying member of The Punk Club, and I am about to upgrade my status to platinum". There. What is a punk, you may ask? Well, let's go back to my girlfriends' conversation. I recently told someone I am digging that I was, well, digging them. It came up after an interesting IM conversation that we were having, and, after much prodding, my hands were possessed by some other worldly creature, and the next thing I knew, I was telling (read: typing to) them I dug them. Their reaction was what I was expecting and a large portion of the reason I was hesitant at saying anything in the first place, but it was all good, it was out there, and I was free to re-stick my head back in the sand like the good ostrich I was. So as I was relaying this information to my homegirls, they chimed in with their recent de-punking experiences, all drastically different and yet the same. Only one abstained - she is already married. (One of these things is not like the other...one of these things just doesn't belong...lol)

In our musings, I realized something: being a punk is fun and nerve wracking all at the same time. In being a punk, you can have a good time without ever actually having to consider feelings or consequences. Seemingly, no one's feelings are truly invested, no one gets hurt, everyone gets what they want...right? Then there's the nerve wracking portion of things: the part where your stomach turns into one large Boy Scout knot because you have, indeed, caught a little bit of feelings (not love or anything drastic, just a little bit) and now you are forced to figure out how long can you go on feeling the way you might feel and not say anything.

You see, in 'homielovafriend' relationships, rest assured that SOMEONE always has feelings. Say what you will, deny it if you must to get through your day, but one person in the party has feelings, and either they'll say it or they won't, but they're there. For me, as a person who has had one or three 'homielovafriend' things (no relationships here, still trying to figure out me), I can say that when I was the one with the feelings, saying how I felt never bode well for me, regardless of my reasons for saying what I was thinking. A part of the reason for this is that usually, these types of relationships are built on fear: fear of the unknown, fear of liking someone and what that might entail, and/or fear of falling in the 'L' word. With that, very rarely do you find someone who steps outside their fearful comfort zone to find someone on the other side, outside their comfort zone as well. As a result, one party is left to either walk away - or play their position and see what happens.

For my friends, I'm not sure what the story holds for them. For me, however, I am returning to the sand, where it's comfortable and safe. I will say that the sand is getting a little annoying...so maybe I won't be there for much longer. Who knows. Perhaps I will soon be able to hand over my club membership to someone else who needs it, as I am working on getting rid of my fears. But for now, sand city it is.

Who else is with me?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Behind Closed Doors

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR THE PERSON WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH TALKING ABOUT SEX...

What's the freakiest thing you've ever done? Like, the stuff that you wouldn't even dare whisper around your mother for fear she would look at you and tell you "go 'long and get de belt"? Come close and whisper it inna meh good ear...

No? You're not going to tell me? GOOD. I don't wanna know.

And neither should everyone else. The thing is, your sexual experiences should be a private encounter. Granted, every girl has a girlfriend or two that they mention a freaky thing or two to..."Gyrl...I didn't even know they had tongue game like that..." or my dudes who talk to their friends..."Shorty went to college on the kid...an excellent brain like that deserves a scholarship..." I mean, we've heard it all before. And yes, sometimes (myself included) we drop it down low in the club and leave the next person wondering if they'll drop it 'like that' on them in the bedroom. But if you're like me...I don't leave the club with anyone. EVER. It's just a dance to me...a fact that I make very clear.

Sex is not a private manner nor should it be confused with intimacy, an act and word that typically become interchangeable when people talk about them. If they call you at 2 and pick you up at 3 and you are on your way home at 4, then you are having sex (and probably a 4 am'er) and you might be interested in telling your homie about it. If any of the aforementioned happens and there is kissing and conversation involved...you might want to reconsider mentioning it. Again, the lines can become blurry sometimes, but there is a definitive difference between sex and intimacy. Intimacy should be a private act between two consenting individuals. I really do believe that. With intimacy, you tend to share more of yourself - and that SHOULD be private. I know that Sommore joked about "being able to spot that n*gga at the Million Man March"...but honestly, I don't want to meet your man or woman and question whether or not it's safe to kiss them on the forehead that particular day. Let me have my fantasy...

Moving on from that, two people who are intimate CAN and do have sex from time to time. But even in that, there is intimacy: when you branch out and try new things, there is a certain level of trust implied within that willingness to try something new. That in and of itself is intimate. It is something that I myself hope to experience. Experimenting with your partner is quite a bit of the fun and a testament to how much they actually trust you. But more on that in another blog...

The point to today's ramblings is to keep your private affairs behind closed doors. Next thing you know, they wind up in somebody's status and I wind up either laughing at it or SMH...

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