Priorities versus Options - Which one are you?

I am my own top priority.

There are also a few people in my life who I consider a priority..my daughter is a given, followed by my family and my close friends. These people show up in my phone as "ICE" - "In Case of Emergency". They are the people that, God forbid something happens to me, I would like contacted because they would know what needs to be done.

Some of those ICE's were deleted today.

And it's nothing personal. It is, rather simply, that they are no longer priorities in my life - primarily because they have neglected to make me a priority in their own life. It could be that we have fallen off or our season has ended. It could be that they are in the process of reinventing themselves and I am a reminder of what they either once were or currently are but are hiding from being instead of correcting the problem. It could also very simply be that I am an option to them and not a priority.

I say this all the time: when I care, I care completely. This means that I remember what you say for the most part because what you say matters and is important to me. It means that if I know what you do, I keep my eyes open and my ears to the ground so that when opportunities arise, I can let you know. It means that you are welcome in my home and my heart. There is a very realistic possibility that you know things about me that others would be surprised to know. You have more than likely seen me at my most vulnerable...which is a feat because I don't do vulnerable.

Conversely...when I stop caring, I stop caring completely. It's almost as if you don't exist to me. There are people in my life that two years ago were in the aforementioned category that now don't even exist to me. Believe me, I'm like a faucet - I turn off and on. There was a time when people could take advantage of me because I am a REALLY nice person, despite all my ramblings and rants. That time is no longer. My ride or die bestie told me a few months back that the bitch in me is becoming a lot more evident. I laughed. But she could be right - it's time for me to become more selfish. Earlier today, I needed to talk to someone about a hard decision to make. EVERYONE was unavailable. And, granted, if I truly needed to talk to someone, and I called once or twice, I'd have been able to talk to someone. But I guess I operate differently - I'm always available...so maybe I need to not be so available to everyone.

Just ramblings...

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