Success vs. Romance

Success is defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence”. For most people, acquiring success comes through a career oriented goal, be it a job, the beginning of a business, the expansion of capital, or some combination thereof. Seemingly at the opposite end of the spectrum is romance. Most people look for someone to compliment and/or complete them. The question then seems to be, what's more important, being successful alone or being happy with someone? And is it actually that simple?

I came up with the question because so often, I hear about my single and successful ladies out there, saying that they want to concentrate on their careers first before getting themselves in a relationship, almost as if to imply that you can't be in a relationship and be successful at the same time. As if the two can't co-exist. I heard it so much in particular this week that it prompted me to ask my FB people. Here are some of the responses I got:

“So, here's the thing about your question. You use sucessful and happy in two different sentences, so my question is whether they are mutually exclusive. If you are successful alone, are you automatically happy, or do you want that special someone to share it with? Does being happy with someone preclude being successful?
The important thing is being comfortable with the choices you're making and being willing to change and grow. I'll also add that I believe that most of the time, happiness is a choice we make”

“Why can't one be successful AND happy with someone?

If you have to forfeit your success to be "happy with someone", the truth of the matter is that you'll never be truly happy.

The key in life is to find a person who pegs your success as important to them as it is to you and vice versa. That is where the struggle comes in. Finding that person who holds u and ur upward mobility in every realm in the same light as their own.

Success and happiness are in the eyes of the beholder. You define them. So before you think about which is more important, you first have to think about what your personal definitions of these states are and understand why they cannot co-exist.”
“If you can't find ways to be happy being alone, having that person isn't going to change much, honestly. And I think it's perfectly possible to find someone to share your success with. That doesn't take away from the 'youness' of what you've accomplished.”

“If you are with someone that you genuinely love but the two of you all are broke how does that help either one of you? That frustration will eventually lead to massive fighting and bickering and finger pointing and then what???..The Breakup. Whereas if you are successful you can pick and choose who to be bothered with or have around you at any given time. Success allow you the option to pick and choose. Most times being alone is more peaceful than anything.”

Here is my take on the whole thing. To me, success is a relative thing, and romance/relationships are a relative thing. Both things are completely contingent on the person's current state of mind. If you are currently concentrating on, for example, starting a business, and you can't think of anything else but starting a business, you are the type that focuses on one thing at a time. This is not to say, however, that you can't also be in a relationship. I think a lot of people use the career first option as a cop out, a means to avoid utilizing the feelings and emotions that come with being in love or loved.

If you are with someone you genuinely love, it surpasses all the drama because you are actively going to make a concerted effort to figure out what you need to do. If the frustration of not having any money gets to you to the point that the two of you cannot function cohesively, perhaps you should reconsider whether or not the two of you are as in ... love as you think you are, in general, that is.

I always have more to say...but anymore thoughts on this?

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