Television Graveyard

It’s funny how random thoughts pop into my head sometimes.

I know that I’ve mentioned reality TV’s supply and demand  on here a time or two before. We en masse have a tendency to look for the things that are entertaining (ie drama, madness and mayhem), and, thus far, reality TV has provided that in spades. It is the same reason that we used to watch sitcoms back in the day – they provided us with entertainment value. The only difference is that actors and actresses are on sitcoms, while reality TV stars  are…well…not acting.

Not really, anyway. But moving on.

Last night, I was watching My Wife and Kids reruns on Nick at Nite, you all remember, the one with Damon Wayans and Tisha Campbell-Martin? I don’t really watch TV much, but I do enjoy me some Nick at Nite. As I was watching the show, somewhere in between Damon Wayans’ character making his usual fatherly cracks at his TV son, it dawned on me…

Do we even have any shows like this anymore?

What do I mean by shows like this? Okok. Let’s think about this for a second. In general, the television sitcom ruled our late 70’s and early 80’s existence. Sitcoms were in rare form at the time, and actors and actresses such as Carroll O’Connor, Bill Cosby, Redd Foxx, Meredith Baxter-Birney, Phylicia Rashad, and countless others kept us glued to the TV with their biases and their thoughts – in an entertaining yet enlightening way. Oh, sure, it wasn’t always roses on their shows…but there was always a lesson to learn and something positive to get out of it. Delving deeper into the heart of the matter, the 80’s dawned powerhouse shows for African Americans such as The Cosby Show, A Different World, and 227, all shows that talked about the struggles of everyday African Americans, and how they overcame such obstacles. And, of course, they made us laugh. (To this day, I will never ever hide a piercing from my parents thanks to Theo Huxtable. And I’m an adult with a child of my own. LOL.)

In watching “My Wife and Kids”, though, I realized that we don’t have any shows like this anymore, at all. Think about it. I did. I went through the commercials I’d seen (in my head). I went through my Twitter timeline. I even posed the question on my Facebook page and to my cousins, who I affectionately call “The View”. Wanna see some of the responses? Look below…

From FB:

“The Cosby show..... even tho that was.....quite a long time ago... “

“Actually, I'm gonna raise my hand and say 'Friends' - Aisha Tyler, a great comedienne, played a short role as Ross' girlfriend, a scientist who had won the Nobel Prize *twice*…”

From “The View” (my cousins):

“There are none-not one.”

“No. I cannot think of one.”

“The Oprah show.. Oprah herself portrays black women in a positive way ,intelligent  thought, imaginative. Behind the scenes at Oprah shows a brilliant black woman running Harpo.”

From Random Folk

“Damn…um…I dunno…wait, lemme think…”

“Define positive lololol…The last sitcom like reality show was runs house…That was positive…”

Are you sensing the pattern?

I’m a bit verklempt at this thought. No, seriously. In 2011…with an African American president…where one of the biggest media names in the business is an African American woman…why is it that the only television shows that we have on with a predominantly African American cast portray us as ghetto? Hood? Granted, my girl Carrie Pink pointed out that the VH1 reality show “Toya: A Family Affair” shows Antonia Carter, mother of Lil Wayne’s child, headed in a positive direction…and I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that Chandra Wilson of ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy” fame plays a no nonsense doctor on the hit series, written and produced by Shonda Rhimes, an African American woman…plus my other friend pointed out on FB that Blair Underwood plays the President of the United States on the NBC sitcom “The Event”.

But after those…then what?

I got an opportunity to go to the Celebrity Apprentice Live Finale this past weekend, and so I hobnobbed with the best while I watched all of the celebrities come back for the finale to talk about their experience. Of course, the most watched portion of the show was NeNe Leakes and Star Jones going back and forth…again. As much as what Nene said about Star was true, the point that Star valiantly tried to make was also true: Nene’s behavior bespoke of an inability to express herself in a professional manner without getting ghetto and trite, and it gave the impression that when backed into a corner, that’s all “we” do. Now, of course this isn’t true…and yes, much happens in the name of entertainment, but how can we prove it when that is our television ‘reality’?

I’m going to do a bit of research on this first, and come back with a part two, but for now, what do you think? Am I wrong?

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Not Many of Us Have Them...

I have a friend who’s mad at me that helped me anyway because I needed it.

Those are the kinds of friends I have.

Those are the kinds of friends everyone should have.

I realize, though, that everyone doesn’t have those kinds of friends. And, like it or not, everyone needs friends. Everyone needs someone that they can talk to, bounce ideas off of, cry if they need to, laugh with, work out with, wake up in a jail cell together like “damn…they got us, son…” (not that I’ve ever done that…*looks away*), and so on and so forth. Sometimes your friends are also your family…I know that I can call my sister with anything in the world and she’s got me, and not just because she’s my sister. (Many of us have family we love but don’t really like.)

Everybody needs somebody sometimes.

But many of us don’t have those kinds of friends, and sometimes, we don’t even know it. A good friend uplifts. They don’t leave you to your own devices, grown or not, because they know that sometimes, even grownups make bad decisions, and though you can’t control someone’s every move, you can do whatever is in your power to make sure that people are aware that they’re not making the best decision. A good friend will tell you that they think you’re fucking up (if you are), they will tell you “(s)he’s not the right one for you”, they will take the drink that’s going to be one drink too many out your hand and pour it out, and they will do things like go out of their way to get you information you need, even though they’re busy as hell.

Or maybe that’s just my group of friends.

Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. (Lol. I know.) Or, more to the point, I suppose, friends don’t let friends get so wasted when they know they shouldn’t. Sure, drinking is fun, but puking is NOT. And if they do get that wasted (because it DOES happen), friends should be the ones that are making sure your chin doesn’t hit the porcelain throne while you ultimately bring back up what you put down while standing on the bar yelling,”shots shots shots!”. Or they hold the puke bag and clean up afterwards. They make sure you get home okay. And they do NOT put it up on social media websites for their amusement. #imjustsaying

Your friends should be a second family to you – catching you and calling you out on self-destructive behaviors, being another support system for you, etc. And yes, every friend has their purpose, all of my friends don’t do all of these things for me all at once…but they would and I’m sure of it. If I were to fall – literally or figuratively – they would catch me. If you have a friend and you don’t think they would do that for you…

It’s time to get a new set of friends.

#thatsallimsaying

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Honesty Box (Self-Analysis #5 of...)

*dramatic cunt sigh*

I guess it’s time to get a little bit honest.

I know, I know. I’m a Sagittarius. I’m always honest.

But there are sometimes that even we Sags hold on to some stuff for fear of being entirely too brutally honest. If there’s one thing that I know that I’m good for being , it’s brutally honest. And that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes, brutal honesty does not come across in the manner with which you intended. Hence why it’s good to have a filter.

Having said that…

I burnt my filter and used it to smoke a beef brisket. I’m serious.

Perhaps it’s my lack of buns. It could be that. I’ve heard that a lack of sex can sometimes make you cranky. (thinks back to last time) That COULD be it…but it’s not the only thing. Lemme see how I can break this down...

1.     
            Relationships.

I’m seeing too many people in relationships who were nothing but shitheads to their other relationships…and they manage to be in healthy and happy relationships. There was a time that I would shun jealousy and envy, refusing to submit to them. I’ve recently learned that envy is a natural part of life and perfectly acceptable to feel as such – it makes you human. While I do not envy often, I do envy at times the shitheads that have managed to be blessed with good, healthy relationships. While this feeling of envy is a fleeting one (I don’t want to block my blessings),I do envy it – like, how the hell did you get so damn lucky? I know, I know. Your time is coming…don’t worry about others…trust me, their karma is coming…

Eff that. (KP voice)

Moving on…

2.       Friendships.

Sigh. My friendships always seem to be an issue for me. I trust heavily when I feel that the trust is worthwhile. At the same time, when I feel the trust is gone, I get rid of them quickly. But more and more I have been wondering – how good of a friend am I? Is it that my expectations of my friends are entirely too high, and that is why I have to keep ridding myself of them? (Note: I’m not getting rid of anyone. So relax.) I’m thinking that perhaps it is that I have too many people in my life. I think that’s the problem. I don’t need to make cuts – I need to stop bringing so many people into my cot-damn life. The less people in your life, the less you have to worry about their expectations of you and vice versa. After all this time, I’m still too cot-damn nice.

That’s going to change.

Perhaps, because I am the common denominator here…it’s time for me to take the step back and examine me.

3.       Love and Shit.

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

I always love the wrong effing people. No really, I do. I fall for people that I probably have no business falling for. Oh yeah, sure, they teach me a lot and in abundance when I do so, but when I love, that person gets a piece of me. And to tell you the truth, I’m a bit over that. I have half a mind to just hit all the dudes up that I’ve ever fallen for and just be like, “so this is how I felt/feel, can I have my piece of me back?”

I’m serious.

I have some calls to make this evening. Some people will be thrilled with what I have to say. Some will be pissed as hell. Others still may feel indifferent. #shrug. Deal with it. This is ME. And, if I haven’t already mentioned this to you…I’m an intense mother-shut-yo-mouth.

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that this is a venting post, designed to…well…vent. It has no true bearing on my actions, deeds, or feelings for anyone. Everyone in my life (that I like) is safe for the moment, and will not be cursed out/told off/cut off. #thatisall

As this is a venting post, please feel free to vent as well…

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The Death and Rebirth of Communication

I miss the days of being curled up on the couch, twirling the cord around my finger, and talking until the wee hours of the morning. And you know the conversations I'm talking about - the ones where you spend the first hour laughing and giggling and cracking pointless jokes, the second hour being slightly introspective as you decide to get a little deep, the third hour sitting in companionable silence. And this format applies to numerous conversations - significant other or friend. Oh, and how could I forget a sprinkling of gossip?

I decided to hand write this before I typed it up and posted it. So many aspects of the art of communication have died - the beauty of hand writing a letter, the joy of the phone ringing and a voice you wanna hear on the other end, the pleasure of saying to someone, "I'll see you tonight" and mean over dinner - in a restaurant - or maybe in the park - sans all PDAs, phones, iPods, etc.

I am guilty of stabbing communication once or twice. I am the queen of the email - I rarely let a text go unanswered if I'm available to answer it (and sometimes, I'll answer while simultaneously answering an email), I am a Twitter ADDICT (and not just for business), and I just downloaded pMessenger. (just one more way for the unreachable to reach me, right?) Hell, aren't I talking about this on the Internet?

The ability to communicate via fiber optic pathways has both progressed and crippled us as a society. I have friends who actually prefer to converse (not conversate) via text message because they are busy or whatever the case may be. But do you realize that it actually requires more effort to text someone back than to pick up the phone and call them? Not to mention, have you ever thought about just how much can be misinterpreted in a text message?

Think about it...when was the last time you actually "LOL" when you typed/texted it...and, unless you are part of the crack-tabulous antics coming from my Team Household Name, then you are never actually ROFLMAO. (Again, if you're in my crew, though...I'm pretty sure you have more than once.)

But seriously. I miss conversation. And, if you know anything about me, when I self-analyze, if I recognize that there is something that I am doing (or NOT doing) that will prevent me from being my best , I will work on fixing it. So I plan to wean myself slowly off of the communication grid. I miss going out with my friends - to museums and to festivals and to plays - and not just the club, where half the crowd is playing dress up, etc. I'm a self professed nerd who enjoys reading and learning, and I'm going to get back to doing that. I plan on not using my being busy with my business as a texting crutch. And I will be more present with my good friends - hopefully, the feeling will be mutual. =o)

What do you think about the levels of communication in today's society? What about in your own personal society of friends and associates? Would you be willing to take a no-text pledge? If so, for how long?

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Team Me: The Trappings of Success?

I love everyone that is on "Team Me".

I love everyone that is on "Team Me" that's here for the right reasons.

Wait...what's "Team Me"?

Ok. If you follow social media trends enough, you'll notice that a popular terminology is "Team" (insert random statement here). So for example, it would be, "Team BlackBerry", "Team iPhone" =o) (<----sorry, I'm an iPhone user), "Team GoHard", etc., etc. Those of you who know me (and we're going to get to that later) know that all these trends make me laugh, so much so that I decided, "hey, I wanna be down, who's with Team Me?!?"

And then I sat down and actually asked myself: Who IS on Team Me?

The people that truly know me know a few things about me: I don't care about your personal situation. What you do with your time is none of my concern unless it directly affects me. Money doesn't and never has interested me enough to make me befriend someone. The differences between the people I call my 'friend' is such a drastic difference that one would be hard pressed to even be able to find more than two commonalities between them (one being that they're friends with me, the other that they are smart asses - like me). Yes, I've always wanted to fit in...but that was growing up. At 28 years old, I am more than content in the person that I am - a rarity in a sea of common people. I still find, however, that I have more than a few "friends" - the ones that are my friend because my business sense is always tingling like Spiderman. Or because they love my cooking and want me to show them a few tricks. Perhaps we're friends because...well, you know the phrase..."friends close, enemies closer"? It's always an interesting sight to see.

I don't have friends that I'm friends with for separate reasons. I don't have Facebook friends versus real friends. If I call you 'friend', then it is that simple. You are my friend. I have people, granted, that I am significantly closer to than others. I have people that I can count on one hand that know almost everything about me...and with the exception of one person, that list hasn't changed since 1996...but overall, if I call you my friend, it is because you are just that - my friend. And you are my friend because I like you and I like hanging out with you. Simple.

So now. Back to "Team Me". It's a great thing if you believe in my business and what I'm trying to accomplish. I love it if you enjoy what I write and what I make. I have no problem being that go to person to get a resume done, or to get a recommendation from. But hear this: if you are on my team because you think that being on my team will get you credibility or prestige, or get you further in your endeavors, know this - I work smart and I work hard. I didn't get this far by being stupid. Your 'stylo' (<---remember that early 90's word? Ha!) is pretty transparent and believe me, I caught on long ago. I'm just waiting for you to weed yourself out. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Do you have friends and 'friends'? How do you determine who is different from who? Do you find that people on the rise tend to have more friends than others? Why do you think that is? Grab your morning cup of hot steamy stuff and chat wid meh fuh a spell...

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