Honesty Box (Self-Analysis #5 of...)

*dramatic cunt sigh*

I guess it’s time to get a little bit honest.

I know, I know. I’m a Sagittarius. I’m always honest.

But there are sometimes that even we Sags hold on to some stuff for fear of being entirely too brutally honest. If there’s one thing that I know that I’m good for being , it’s brutally honest. And that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes, brutal honesty does not come across in the manner with which you intended. Hence why it’s good to have a filter.

Having said that…

I burnt my filter and used it to smoke a beef brisket. I’m serious.

Perhaps it’s my lack of buns. It could be that. I’ve heard that a lack of sex can sometimes make you cranky. (thinks back to last time) That COULD be it…but it’s not the only thing. Lemme see how I can break this down...

1.     
            Relationships.

I’m seeing too many people in relationships who were nothing but shitheads to their other relationships…and they manage to be in healthy and happy relationships. There was a time that I would shun jealousy and envy, refusing to submit to them. I’ve recently learned that envy is a natural part of life and perfectly acceptable to feel as such – it makes you human. While I do not envy often, I do envy at times the shitheads that have managed to be blessed with good, healthy relationships. While this feeling of envy is a fleeting one (I don’t want to block my blessings),I do envy it – like, how the hell did you get so damn lucky? I know, I know. Your time is coming…don’t worry about others…trust me, their karma is coming…

Eff that. (KP voice)

Moving on…

2.       Friendships.

Sigh. My friendships always seem to be an issue for me. I trust heavily when I feel that the trust is worthwhile. At the same time, when I feel the trust is gone, I get rid of them quickly. But more and more I have been wondering – how good of a friend am I? Is it that my expectations of my friends are entirely too high, and that is why I have to keep ridding myself of them? (Note: I’m not getting rid of anyone. So relax.) I’m thinking that perhaps it is that I have too many people in my life. I think that’s the problem. I don’t need to make cuts – I need to stop bringing so many people into my cot-damn life. The less people in your life, the less you have to worry about their expectations of you and vice versa. After all this time, I’m still too cot-damn nice.

That’s going to change.

Perhaps, because I am the common denominator here…it’s time for me to take the step back and examine me.

3.       Love and Shit.

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

I always love the wrong effing people. No really, I do. I fall for people that I probably have no business falling for. Oh yeah, sure, they teach me a lot and in abundance when I do so, but when I love, that person gets a piece of me. And to tell you the truth, I’m a bit over that. I have half a mind to just hit all the dudes up that I’ve ever fallen for and just be like, “so this is how I felt/feel, can I have my piece of me back?”

I’m serious.

I have some calls to make this evening. Some people will be thrilled with what I have to say. Some will be pissed as hell. Others still may feel indifferent. #shrug. Deal with it. This is ME. And, if I haven’t already mentioned this to you…I’m an intense mother-shut-yo-mouth.

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that this is a venting post, designed to…well…vent. It has no true bearing on my actions, deeds, or feelings for anyone. Everyone in my life (that I like) is safe for the moment, and will not be cursed out/told off/cut off. #thatisall

As this is a venting post, please feel free to vent as well…

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A True Sagittarius Kisses...and Tells

There's an old adage that goes, "You can catch more bees with honey than you can with vinegar". Or maybe it's flies.


(OK, look. It's about 7:30 in the morning and I haven't had my early morning nap yet. I'm not sure.)


At any rate. Often times, I will encounter a person or people who will challenge me verbally and I will ever so sweetly tell them where they can stick it. I've been told that because I say everything with a smile, especially the not so nice stuff, some people miss the "insult", and, as my best ride or die notes, "the people you talk to arent as intelligent as you so they dont even know you're being mean half the time". 


(That's a direct quote, by the way. I still insist I'm NOT mean.)


All jokes (sorta) aside, one of the traits of a Sagittarius is their omnipresent honesty. It is said that the Sagittarius woman is joyous in general, which is good "because it helps to take some of the sting off of their very honest, often blunt, reactions to the world around them". Other astrological assessments include their "refreshing honesty", as well as  "self-righteous and seriously opinionated, those weak in integrity need to slip away quietly".


Now. Whether you believe in astrology or not, the fact remains that every Sagittarius I know, without fail, including and especially myself, possess all of the above traits. There are times that I find myself cringing slightly as I speak my mind, wondering, "now why in the hell did I feel the need to say that?" This trait carries over to relationships, of course, as do most things. Even as recently as three weeks ago, I was asked why I liked someone, and I answered the question honestly. I was wondering where the hell the "Undo" button on Gmail was RIGHT after I sent it, though, because I instantly realized that I had said way too much. 


And yet, sadly, I wouldn't take back a word. 


I rarely want to. I just wish that the filter that I installed oh-so-many-moons ago would work the way that I asked it to! I decided a while back to try something new, release the safety net that I would hold on to so dearly...and yet, I have a difficult time shutting up sometimes! I was talking to another one of my ride-or-dies yesterday, and she expressed some of the same sentiments about a gentleman that she knows. I listened to her...and then I told her what to expect from this Sagittarius gentleman. And as I told her what to expect (if the trust is there, expect their whole life story, followed by weeks of silence because they realize they're revealed too much), I realized...oh sheesh, I really do the exact same thing! 


Aw...just HELL.


So I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I am going to keep my feelings about many things to myself and save the outbursts for my ride-or-dies who understand and will not look at me with the side eye. (at least, not in public). Let's see how long that lasts...


Do you believe in the zodiac? In astrology? How true do you think your astrological sign is to your personal nature? If you felt you talked or revealed too much, how would you handle it?

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