The Side Chick

So I wasn’t going to comment on a lot of the statuses/posts/tweets I’ve been seeing this weekend.

I know, I know. I always speak my mind, right? So why different this time?

I wasn’t going to comment because I didn’t think it needed my “Caribbean Rambler” stamp on it.

But...after seeing this for what seems like the 100^th time today, I felt the need to say a quick something about it.

First off, Happy National Side Chick Day!!! (e-confetti, glitter spins) O_o

(Yup, I’m going there today.)

I almost want to post this to Facebook and tag all the people this weekend that I’ve seen address this over the weekend, but there is a tag limit on these things, I know. Not to mention that you don’t need me to tell you who you are. You know who you are.

I didn’t realize that today was a national holiday – the precursor before Valentine’s Day, if you will. I mean, never mind that Valentine’s Day is such a day of mixed emotions – the lonely and bitter ones cursing the day because they’re lonely, the happy ones posting all of their Valentine’s Day goodies, the lonely and hopeful landing somewhere in the middle…Valentine’s Day in and of itself has the potential to cause lots of drama. I mean, as we all know (prepare for sarcasm), Valentine’s Day is the only day of the year that one can express their appreciation for the ones that they love. Husbands, boyfriends, do me and yourselves a favor this upcoming V-Day: make sure you get your shorty something, if you ever intend on getting buns today or in the near future. If she says she doesn't want something, she is lying. Trust me. Even if she insists. She wants something. She wants you to get it anyway.

But this post is not for the happily/unhappily/situations in love.

This post is for the side chick in all of us.

I just want to start off by saying that I don’t say this to encourage infidelity. For myself, I have never cheated on anyone I’ve been with a day in my life, which becomes interesting when you assess that at least half of the people I have been with cannot say the same. (I’m not bitter. Seriously. No sarcasm. It’s all a lesson learned.) I firmly believe that if you’re with dude or shorty, and you’re not happy, and you have the power with which to either fix the problem or leave, then do so. Cheating solves nothing and complicates everything.

Having said that…

Raise your hand if you’ve been or know a side chick.

(raises hand, patiently waits)

There should be a lot more hands up than there are right now. *raises eyebrow*

OK. OK. I’ll stop. I’m not blowing anyone’s spot today.

What I will say is this: there are a lot of us out there, using social media as a platform with which to be uber judgmental. As many people as I’ve seen putting down the ‘side chick’ these past few days, how many of those same people have side chicks? Know side chicks? Encourage the side chick phenomenon? Hell, how many of your parents have been the/encouraged the side chick thing?

Food for thought, isn’t it?

Now, again, I don’t condone behavior or encourage it. I’m not offering an opinion on the side chick one way or the other. But if there is one thing I have learned these past few years, it is this: you can never walk in someone’s shoes unless you’ve walked in their shoes. And it is with that said that I say this: stop playing out the side chick. Leave them be and stop pointing the finger. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and actions, and I don’t care what you think you might do or not do or what you think something is, you can never say unless you’ve been there. Everyone has a higher power to answer to eventually. Let them answer to it. After all…lots of you pointing the finger have a/are the side chick, aren’t you? *wink* #imjustsaying…

That is all.

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The Economics of Infidelity

So I got to reading the best book ever: 


More Sex is Safer Sex by Steven E. Landsburg is a book that likens economic concepts and challenges with, well, promiscuity. What's that you say? Sex and money in one book? I'm for it!! *wink*


But anyway. I'm going to talk about sex. And economics. But mostly sex. 


Right.


So...when I started reading the book, Landsburg had me cracking up. He's really a rather dry and witty fellow. In it, he points out, "Whether you're...having sex, saving or spending...your actions have costs and benefits. As long as you feel all the costs and benefits, you'll tend to get the quantity right. You'll...have the right number of children, or choose the right number of sex partners. But if you feel only the benefits while someone else feels the costs, you'll tend to overindulge."


And there you have it. It's so true! Look at all of the celebrities nowadays that have been put under the microscope because they decided to 'overindulge'. Tiger Woods. Jesse James. Tiki Barber. And that's only within the past six months. Infidelity is always a topic of controversy - and, by default, entertainment. There is supply and demand in the promotion and publication of cheating!! I mean, people have been cheating since men and women figured out where to put it! I was on my Facebook page, chatting about it with my friend, and I felt compelled to point out:

"There are two distinct issues: 1. The media's need to supply controversy...and the capitalistic blood in the large masses' need to demand drama and gossip...supply and demand, kiddo...anyone who says that they're not about capitalism LIED! Think about it: the media's not going to sell anything that no one's asking for...how many people do YOU know who say that they hate the negativity of the media, but are like crack fiends to their boob tube (geesh I'm old!) when any coon...I, I mean, VH1 reality TV show comes on?

2. People think it's such a recent surge in infidelity...it's not...not by a long shot. We just have the means now to talk about it en masse...pick someone famous...in fact, pick 10 famous people and I'll bet you that 9 of them have chased a piece of tail at least once that wasn't theirs....why? Because they could! Tiger, Jesse, (our) Jesse, Tiki, Bill (Cosby), they all just managed to get caught......"

There you have it. The economics of infidelity. So now I ask - are we just doomed to continue to repeat the same cycles over and over? I mean, we realize now that there are many reasons that people cheat, but the main reason is that they can. Simple. After that, of course, is the reason that people, in general, are afraid to do things that may not be easy and don't have an immediate benefit. It's like I said about grinding: people will grind for their jobs because there is money, prestige, and immediate rewards involved. So why not work towards something concrete, instead of sticking allyuh parts inna everybody tail? What are we so afraid of?


Discuss.

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Did I Miss Something?

The ongoing running joke with my friends and I is that the WEIRDEST, most UNUSUAL things happen to me. Lately, I've been trying to attribute it to the fact that 30 is staring me in the face. My best friend has told me flat out that this is not the case, that I, very simply, attract madness for whatever reason.

Now. I've talked before about the incident with a rodent that will remain nameless. And who could forget seeing Spiderman on 5th Avenue. The things I see and that happen to me sometimes are priceless. Today was no exception.

To start, I wake up every morning religiously hitting the snooze button at least 3 times before I panic about being unemployed in this blasted disaster excuse for an economy and fly out of the bed and directly towards the shower, waking my child in the process to ensure that she is ready. I then time what bus I MUST be on to be considered either early or on time once I get on and onto the subway. Today, I was slightly behind schedule, so I hopped onto a different bus and texted my boss to let her know I was running behind schedule.

So now. I'm sitting quietly on the bus, listening to Jay-Z's Blueprint 3, and the bus begins to get a bit crowded. This 6'4 guy gets on the bus and stands to hold on by me. I pay him no mind. As the bus gets crowded, he starts to shift forward...and all I'm feeling on my shoulders are his family jewels. I'm not kidding. Over and over again. And just when I thought that it could've possibly been accidental because of the crowding on the bus, I looked up and dude WINKED at me. Yes, y'all, I said he WINKED at me. So, of course, I draft an email to my friends about this foolishness. They laugh hysterically. Little did I know that my adventure for the day was not done yet...

Later on, I'm at Penn Station, trying to get my ticket so that I can go home after a long day. I'm at the LIRR machine, getting my railroad ticket home when this guy comes up and whispers something in my ear. So I say, "I'm sorry?" He looks like he might need a dollar or two, not homeless, just broke...so he says it again and I thought he said he needed a couple of dollars! So as I'm preparing to tell him sorry, he says a little louder..."just a couple of hours is all I need with you...I swear I'll turn you out...what's your name?"

...:blank stare:...Are you kidding me...

And it gets better!! An older guy was by the train door where I was sitting, just relaxing and drinking his beer. This younger girl runs up to him from the car after ours and sticks her tongue down his throat! Now they're making out and I'm gagging a little...I don't do PDAs (public displays of affection). But then, soon after this joyous reunion, she bursts into tears! So now he's comforting her...and the lady across from me and I are just sitting there, a bit baffled by it all. As we're preparing to get off at our stop, the girl rushes back to the next car where she came from! The lady sitting across from me(my new LIRR buddy) are completely lost. Suddenly, the gentleman's phone rings and he says, "hey son, what track?" His son answers him...the lady and I turn...the girl that all this stuff is going on with is his son's girlfriend.

So now I ask - is it me? Did I miss something? What is it about me that attracts and witnesses such madness!

P.S. My friend D, of course, couldn't resist posting a blog about my misfortunes on her own blog. You can read her commentary on my misfortunes (still not funny) on her blog, Life in the D Lane.

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