Sagittarius KP Woes (A New Season)

I am one of the most passionate people you know. Truly. Take that whatever way you'd like.

I kiss.

I tell.

I exude confidence and uncertainty all at the same time.

And I am approaching a new season.

I truly believe that people do not ever change: they simply adapt to the situation that they are in until a) the situation changes in such a manner that they feel free to expose more of their true self, or b) until their true self seeps out unexpectedly. What changes is a person's situation, their surroundings, and the people in their lives. That's about it.

With that said, as a Sagittarius, I have found myself evaluating recently what I say to people: any person, be it a close friend or a distant acquaintance. By now, depending on how long you have been following my ramblings, you probably have noticed my internal battles with not just what I say and how I say it, but with speaking from the heart first and the mind second. I don't ever regret what I say to people or how I say it...I simply find myself questioning whether or not I should say anything at all.

I observe much more than the average person realizes. One thing that I have noticed when saying something in my traditional 'no filter' fashion is a person's outward laughter - but their body language cringes. I find it interesting to watch people's reactions to me and what I say. That isn't the purpose of this post, though. I have been censoring myself more and more for a number of reasons, the largest being that I'm not sure that my thoughts are for everyone. Those of you that are reading this that truly know me may be ready to cut me off now and say, "OK, cut it out". But I'm serious. I find myself wanting to say more and more less and less. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex.

A true Sagittarius enters potential relationships with an open mind and their guards up. If they see potential, the guards come crashing down. Why? Because if a Sagittarius likes you, they give their everything. (at least, the Sags I know are like that.) The obvious issue with this is, unless you find your soul mate after the first shot, are you giving your everything to each person you meet until you meet that 'one'? The obvious response to this should be 'no'...and the average person will say, 'well, stop giving your all to every damn body yuh meet, yuh rass...' (oh. wait. that's me who'd say that).

And it is currently what I am saying to myself. I am such an honest person that I realize I can reveal too much about me in my honest revelries. Sometimes, the people that other people surround themselves with are not the right match for you. As a result, they don't need to know your business. I have to remind myself of this every time I gather the urge to be too honest. The other thing is - for me - that I am coming upon this new season where my self-analysis is at an all time high. This will mean more being critical of me - and less to say. Sometimes...less is more. Seriously.

What do you think? Thoughts, please...

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Going Back To Love

If you're reading this, raise your hand if you've ever been in love.

*crickets creak, tumbleweed rolls by me in the classroom*

So maybe I'm being a little melodramatic. It's what I do, I can't help it. I thought I was in love...a few times. I've been in relationships where I thought that I would do whatever it took to make sure that this relationship worked. One of these subsequent relationships resulted in Michele Alexa. She is my pride and joy.

And then after that, love don't live here no mo'. LOL.

I mean, that's not true. Love is an objective thing and a concept of mind over matter. (I know...I didn't talk about the heart or ANYTHING!!) The thing about the heart is that it's a muscle. It pumps blood to and from other body parts. That's about it. I hate to break it to folks. LOL. Love is, however, the mind going into irrational overdrive. The palms sweating and heart racing is all a matter of your brain registering anxiety over a potentially irrational situation.

Yup, I just turned love into a clinical science. I'm sorry in advance to all my die-hard romantics. (Well, not really. Just felt like the right thing to say. LOL.)

The reason people use the heart when referencing love and romance is because in the pre-Christian era, before people realized that the brain was the center of functioning, people thought the heart was the epicenter of it all. And understandably so, I suppose. It was in the center of everything. I guess it's like thinking the world is flat. I dunno.

But enough random knowledge facts. The point is, love, to me, is something that I haven't actually come upon yet. Not true love. Oh, sure, there are people I like enough. There are people that I liked enough in the past to want to have a relationship with...and den dey crazy asses showed up and dis Caribbean gyul hea ain't wyan no part o dat! LOL. Then there are the 'crush(es)'...not many, but the ones that you know are probably not your best relationship pic no matter what but you just can't help but like them. Those are dangerous because you get all wuk up ova de man and he already let you know (either verbally or nonverbally) that your interest and his interest are not the same interests. Now, unless you're into s&m...this is just abuse for no good reason.

Which leads me to where I am today...single and chillin'. Why? I guess I'm just waiting to see what walks my way. Not searching because this is one of those things that when you seek, you shall not find. It finds you when it's ready. And maybe I'm just not ready so that's why I haven't seen it. What I do know is this...I have this quote on my FB page that sums up what I think love should be:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
- "Captain Corelli's Mandolin", Louis de Bernieres

What do you all think?

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