"Whatever Lola wants (Lola wants)/Lola gets (Lola gets)/and little man/little Lola...wants you..."
Sarah Vaughn, "Whatever Lola Wants"
I'm not supposed to be talking about relationships. Believe me, after this blog, there is a "State of the West Indies" blog coming up real soon so...but in the interim...
I was talking to one of my Dashing Divas about, well, relationships. Sigh. (I know. I know. I said I wasn't talking about relationships anymore. It's a 28 thing. My DD went on a bit of a rant when I expressed some of my feelings about being 'the cool girl'. She said so much, I had to quote her a little bit. One of the things she said that particularly stuck out in my mind was:
"Every woman needs to be courted...you need that one night where you get your hair done, you put on your pretty dress, and you go out and you enjoy yourself and you get dropped off before
10 because he thinks you're a lady...when you don' t get a guy to court you, you as a woman will
never get what you want..."
We talked for a while about a variety of things related to courting. She pointed out that many times, a woman who looks to be courted, to receive gifts, to be treated like the princess that they deserve to be treated like, winds up getting the man, and the girl who is the cool one, who will watch the game and chill until the wee hours of the morning and the like are usually the ones wondering why they didn't get the man. In her words, "F*ck that independent women sh*t". As usual, it gave me something to think about.
Why can't there be a balance between the cool chick and the princess? Is there not a way to be the woman that is given flowers or their favorite book just because and still be the woman that can go to the Finals game or play dodge ball because she feels like it? I sat back for a second and genuinely thought about the last time someone got me something just because. I remember getting Edible Arrangements on Valentine's Day last year out of the blue, but it was an apology of sorts. It was weird. That is a story in and of itself. Believe me, it doesn't count. Why is there such power in over the top aloofness versus genuine 'chillness'?
Discuss...ponder...post allyuh thoughts, nuh...
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