Isn't it amazing how music speaks to your life? Like, you ever hear a song and you get so lost in the lyrics and the music because it just sounded like whoever the songwriter was literally sat with you in your room while you devoured that mocha chip ice cream and listened to your tears ramble? Or caught you when you were daydreaming at dance school about using the wall for support because he was...
Oh. Maybe that's just how I feel about a good song.
I love music and I love listening to music. Many a time, even now as I write this, I am jamming to Alison Hinds' station on Pandora, with interpolations of Machel Montano. Two hours ago, my favorite 'Ayicien' and 'Puertorriqueno' man was serenading me and reminding me of my bad habits. Sigh.
I love music.
I have been finding more solace in music lately as I go on this journey of mine to continue becoming stronger in who I am. It's not easy sometimes. Even as I listen to Mr. Hammond sing about his Queen, I wonder who besides my baby girl sees me that way - as a Queen. I know I see me as a Queen, so that's really all that matters...but I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes wonder I held any value to others.
Earlier, I threw on Mr. S. Dot and felt my inner Brooklyn as I considered 'getting violent' - I hate being disrespected and after being blatantly disregarded, my rage was barely contained...Mr. Carter made me feel better, I just angrily spit his lyrics to myself and tried to breathe.
I know someone else has been there before.
The other day, when I was listening to Symptoms Unknown, I wondered where this song was when I was trying to figure out where my relationship went. Right now, Machel is making me wanna get 'pon de road an wuk up', and leave my cares behind. Music is my comfort zone and my panacea when things are good and when they are bad. It helps me sort out many things, especially when I don't feel like talking.
What do you do when you have a lot on your mind?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
On to the Next One and all great songs in between
2 comments:
Sooo i don't want you getting violent to Jay-Z. No, bad Kimmy!
But when i have a lot on my mind i usually shut down and curl up in bed....and sneak a cookie or two..or four...hell I eat the roll! LOL
LOL...he says, "n**ga just get violent"...whaaat?
I know what you mean though. I try to avoid the compulsive eating thing. It's not easy. Writing helps me...sometimes. But mostly, it's music.
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