The "In-Laws" and Family Take Over

My daughter told me this weekend that her aunt on her father's side gives her soda when she comes to visit. I don't allow her to drink soda. When my daughter tried to explain this to her aunt, her aunt's response was that she was not me and that she didn't have to obey my rules.

GRRR.

Why are people on the opposite end of the spectrum so disrespectful? I mean, what is it about "in-laws" (quotations because I'm not married) that make dealing with them so hard? If someone that I am caring for 'en loco parentis' tells me that their parent doesn't allow them to do certain things, whether I like them or agree with them or not, then I'm going to respect that. Apparently everyone does not follow the same rule.

Family, to me, has always been an interesting commodity. I say 'commodity' because sometimes, you can take them or leave them, you know? Ideally, these should be the people that have your back unconditionally, who should be the supportive backbone for you and who you are. And yet, often times, I hear so many people complain about the disjointed relationships that they have with their families, my friends in particular.

I love my family. I do. They do, however, have a tendency to jump into the fray where they are not needed, particularly when it comes to raising my daughter. I know that this is all in love most of the time...but really, though? Did I ask for your opinion on everything? DEFINITELY didn't. And please...let's not forget that as her mother, I get the last word. Sorry. (though I must say, I'm not genuinely sorry...it just seemed the most appropriate statement to end with)

Now. As for the "in-laws", it is an interesting dynamic that comes with single parenthood: oftentimes, the relationship that frays between the mother and father of the child causes the surrounding relationships to fray as well. If there is one thing that I pride myself on, it doesn't matter how annoyed, angry, frustrated, or disgusted I am with my daughter's father, I never ever give my daughter any indication that there is any issue with him. This, of course, only enrages me more when the reverse is not respected. Try as I might, though, I refuse to stoop to their level...which only leaves me as the bad guy more often than not.

What do you do in such a situation as this? How do you avoid the inevitable butting of heads between family/in-laws and the like?

Thoughts, please...

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