Trust, Vulnerability, and the Purple Headed Monster

Picture this: your throat gets dry, your heart starts racing, your urge for some pholourie and buss up shot (or maybe BBQ chicken) is just GONE...butterflies in your stomach is the understatement of the year. What the hell is this? This is bull-sheet!

Nah, it's just being vulnerable. If you're like me, the very thought of opening yourself up and showing someone else the softer side of you (or maybe just showing someone you, not even the softer side necessarily) causes your very being to freeze in place. With allowing yourself to be vulnerable and to allow emotions in, it can come with some mixed feelings. This is the part where I get to telling you the best way to handle it, right? Haaaa...have you learned NOTHING from previous posts? LOL.

The truth is that I don't know how to. I'm an admitted punk. In fact, there is a great chance that if I were to fall in love, I'd run for the proverbial hills. I'm actually not a big risk taker at all. I like sure things. I also have issues with trust, mainly being that I don't. Rather, if I trust you, I trust you with everything. The whole shebang. And I can usually tell pretty early on. If I have to question whether I can trust you in the beginning, I'll never trust you. You can add my name to the millions of people that feel this way, though, because I am not the only one.

So, what do people like me do? They PANIC. They write frantically and hyperventilate quietly. And then they either eventually man up and do what they have to do to get what they want...or they avoid the whole situation and wait until the purple headed monster makes his sudden appearance. Either way...trust and being vulnerable are playing double dutch right now...

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