Keeping it Real When None of the Above Apply

So interestingly enough, I got a lot of positive feedback on this early morning blog, both on here and on Facebook. One of the questions I've gotten (which is a question I pose myself) is: what if none of the usual stigmas apply? Then what?

Hmmm. What if you've managed to get yourself into an undefinable, un "timed - not 12 pm or 4 am" relationship? In other words, what if you're just not sure? I've been there before...and while I can't say that I've done or are doing the right thing, I can say what might be your best bet:

1. Look at the clues that your...ahem...partner is giving you. If you only hear from them when it's time to...um..."talk"...then it's probably a 4 am relationship and they're just not aware of the designated time to call for this. LOL.

2. Say you primarily hear from them when it's time to "talk", but then you all actually converse and the conversation is intense...then it might be time to ask him what time should you hear from them next, if you get my drift. No? Find out where you stand. Are they looking for more than just "talk"? Establish that, and then, once you've done that, refer back to the 1st Keeping it Real. If they look at you like, "I thought you knew the deal", then you just weren't paying attention. LOL.

3. If the person is sending mixed signals, as often times is the reason that we find ourselves scratching our heads, trying to figure out the deal, then it's still time to ask. When you ask, however, please know a. what you're asking, and b. who you're asking. If you don't really know the person, then you really shouldn't be asking any questions in the first place...that is, clearly this is a '4 am' er and you are reading more into it than necessary. If you do know the person, or you're really just unsure, ask. Some people will say to 'play your position', but if you don't know what your position is, that's difficult to do, not to mention that sometimes, hard questions just need to be asked, point blank. Sometimes, the way that the person answers the question speaks volumes.

If none of these things apply, it's time for you to examine your own self first before jumping into any of these relationship types. Sometimes, the confusion is solved by self-examination...

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