Growing Pains

I lost a friend recently. It was painful.

You will recall me talking about getting into an argument with a good friend of mine, and questioning whether or not I made the right choice by bringing her into my inner circle. We got into it again recently and she made the decision to make her feelings known on two very popular social media forums, even going so far as to tag me in the posts, instead of talking to me and trying to get me to understand what she was thinking and/or going through. Obviously these are the very BASE details, but it got me to thinking heavily about who I am, what I do, and where my flaws lie. I'm very big into self exploration and introspection. It is safe to say that we are no longer friends. If I know nothing else about myself, I know that I do not tolerate ANYONE defaming my character, particularly when they are in a position to be an adult and have a discussion with me about whatever the problem is. It's unfortunate too. Up until that point, I really cared. *shrugs*.

Growing up is a painful, PAINFUL process that sometimes involves making decisions that you may not want to make, and doing things that you may or may not want to actually do. It involves being the bigger person when all of your instincts (and sometimes, other people) scream that you are not wrong, that you are being wronged (and sometimes, the reverse). It sometimes means that the people with whom you are the closest; the people who you think understand you the most; are also the ones that you have to watch the closest; for they have the power to do the most damage. Sometimes...it means swallowing your pride and confronting your feelings, even when you feel like being the punk of the century. Growing up is not always fun...shedding your outer skin for fresh skin sometimes leaves you feeling vulnerable...and even a little lost.

Of course, with fresh skin comes a certain glow and a new start on this thing we call life. Sure, right now, when the wound is still fresh, you feel a bit raw and exposed - for me, I know that there were things that I was able to share with this person that I never had to explain to others - they just seemed to get it. However...anytime someone will go so far as to accuse you of being 'envious' and of 'stealing their dream' - particularly when they themselves walked away from it, or when their biggest obstacle to success was them - is not someone that you can help...not, at least, until they help themselves. The point is that growing up may hurt at first...but you always emerge stronger as a result.

Have you ever encountered a painful 'growing up' experience, either in your present or in your past? How did you let it shape who you currently are?

Posted in: envy, feelings, friend, life, perception, thoughts