Wanted: purple tinged hyacinths with a sole calla lily, accompanied by a walk along the water’s side/snuggling up by a fireplace/strolling along the beach at sunset (options for the seasons). Must appear interested in actual conversation without forgetting to subtly compliment said companion. Should close the evening by being escorted to one’s door and a kiss good night. Home cooked meal – basket style optional.
See? I told allyuh I could be a girl sometimes.
My cousin and I got to talking about relationships and romance. She asked me the same question that I posed on my Facebook page: “Do you believe in romance? What is the most romantic thing you have ever experienced?”
What prompted this blog was the amount of time that it actually took me to answer that question.
Huh.
I’ve been on dates before. Granted, my dating history is limited – I didn’t start actually dating until 2005, close to 2006. (I’m not kidding.) Prior to that I’d been in an on again, off again, why-did-I-DO-that-again relationship with the father of my child. I was a serial monogamist in my younger years, and when I would try to date, I would find myself in a relationship with said person, and then the dynamic would change. Apparently, in the relationships that I was in, dating was not a necessity – why date? You already got the guy/girl!
At least, that’s what my then boyfriend explained to me.
As single as I am now, I realize that my dating experience is still rather limited. The most dating I’ve ever done was this year – I got two…nope, three whole dates out of them before they disappeared. I suppose that’s all for the best, though. Everything happens for a reason. At any rate, there were those three dates, plus enough to count on one hand that I’ve ever been on. Not a one included flowers, or anything that might be considered romantic.
What the hell is romance, anyway? Merriam-Webster (oh come nuh, allyuh know I does define tings already!) defines romance as, “: to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery”. From what I’ve been told of myself, I’m ‘pretty confident on my own’, I’m ‘easy going and don’t appear to demand much attention’, and, my personal favorite, ‘I thought you’d be insulted if I got you something. I know how you independent women are’.
Now. *scratches head* I’ve never been the type of independent woman to demand that everything be done the way I’d want it done, in the sense that…ok, the easier way of putting this is, I’m not that ‘Destiny’s Child Independent Woman’. I don’t refuse gifts; I’m not a bitch about my independence. I always say that I am independent by need, not necessarily by desire. (It’s hard to explain.)
With all that said, I can honestly say that I can’t truly think of any instance where there was a romantic overtone on any of my dates (barring one shared milkshake date which I still think was really cute). For the most part, I’ve been told that my laid back demeanor and understanding nature leads to…whatever. Insert something.
So as I ponder this latest rambling thought process, I ask you: Do you believe in romance? What is the most romantic thing you have ever experienced?
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