I always wondered what my life would be like if I were normal.
When I say normal - perhaps the word 'stable' is a better fit. I mean...I'm not sure what I mean.
I'm rambling. I know. *peers up at blog title*
Alright, allyuh. Hear what going thru meh head. By now, you probably know that I resigned from my full time job to pursue my business aspirations full time. You also know about the many doubts that run through my head with regard to my decision. Many of my good friends and associates have pointed out how proud of me they are, and how they admire what I am doing. To me, that just adds to the pressure. Don't follow what I do. I'm always tired...I'm always dragging (trust me, I just hide it well)...I'm going to be broke for the next three years easily...the list goes on. I mean, it's wonderful to inspire people. But I swear, I'm just a normal woman trying to make it.
There goes that word 'normal' again.
[ I'm going to sidetrack for a second - and this will more than likely be the topic of another blog. But don't you love it when people assume your status because of what you do? Just because I attend many networking events and travel doesn't make me a baller. I simply know how to find the best for free. 9 times out of 10, anywhere that I go or anything that I do, I'm not paying for. I will go anywhere by myself, and I find great deals all the time so that I'm paying next to nothing. Please don't assume. That is all. =o) ]
Sorry. Had to get that out. Anyway...
So many times, I wish I was 'normal'. I wish I could go back to my 9 to 5, come home, make dinner, wash clothes, look at TV to unwind (hell, I couldn't even tell you what's on TV nowadays unless it's on the Food Network or...well, actually, that's about it.), go walk the dog, play with the munchkin, make lunch for the next day and go to bed. Read a book and conk out, only to do it all over again. I wish I could intersperse my days with cute little movies and the occasional networking event to alleviate the impending feeling of boredom and routine. I wish I was better with routines.
I am great with an idea. (Trust me, I didn't just jump off topic, I have a reasoning.) I can come up with ideas at the drop of a dime. More than half of them didn't manifest themselves into something because I was either too lazy to make it happen, or it was too much going on and it had to be brought back to the drawing board. Either way, with me, my process is as such: I come up with an idea, go hard for this idea so much so that I forget all other projects in the works, and work on said idea until I tire of it...or until I finish. My business is an example of an idea that I finished. Ever hear of visionnaire, the plus size clothing line? (You have? Already I know you're lying.) You haven't heard of it because it never made it past the drawings I did with another friend of mine. My repertoire is full of stuff like that. I wish I could do less thinking, be less creative, and do more implementing.
Well, wait.
I love being creative. I love creating ideas and watching them come to fruition. I love creating stories and living them out. I love creating visions and letting them come to life. But...I wish I could be less of a night owl making all these things come to life. Sometimes...I wish I was the person admiring the person following the dream...instead of being the dream fulfiller. Sometimes...I crave normalcy.
Sigh.
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