Sunday, September 12, 2010

Naked and Exposed





Everything is a bit raw right now. 


You ever feel so naked and exposed, like everyone can see right through you for who you are? Ever wonder if that's a good idea or not? 


That's me. That's me in a nutshell and I don't know what to make of it. 


This is more than just a Sagittarius thing. This is a 'nobody's supposed to be here' thing and it's making me mad. 


So I met this guy recently and I really liked him. He really liked me - at least I thought he did. We were on that talk every day tip, making plans, yadda yadda yadda. He asked me why I liked him...and I told him. I'm a writer and I'm an intense, passionate person by nature...so when he asked me why, I went in. I figured that we had been so honest with each other prior to this moment, why not lay it all out there? What did I have to lose?


Apparently, a lot, because now I barely hear from him. 


The one before him, he's as intense and passionate as me, in my opinion. Told me not to like him from the door. I wasn't prepared for how charming he was, though, and I understood after a while why he told me not to like him...because cot dammit, he's easily likable. Lovable. Whatever.


Why I feel like tearing up right now, I don't know. 


This is what I mean. I feel so naked and exposed right now, so much so that I haven't even had the opportunity to edit my words...to suppress my emotions...to not let everyone know what's going on in my head...all I want right now is the answers to why. I wanna know why they keep disappearing on me. I need to figure out what it is in my energy that is sending off this 'disappearing act' vibe. 


Believe me...this is the first and last time that I plan on putting these emotions into words. 


In fact...it's time to just figure it out. To the KP cave I go...

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